Blessed Hindsight
by marzoog
Summary: Her whole life seemed stepped in shadow now...There was one shaft of light left. The memory of James...They say that your whole life flashes before you when you die, and although Lily didn’t know if she was going to die, her blessed hindsight happened n


Silence. 

The word screamed itself through Lily's head, making it seem louder than any noise had ever been. It was tenfold times louder than when James had turned her hair pink and the whole Charms class had laughed hard enough to make the room almost shake. Louder than Sirius's screams at being told of his family's death. Louder than anything Lily had ever heard before. 

Then a step sounded in the distance. Just a step, but it was enough to make Lily flinch. Enough to make her turn around. Enough to make shivers go down her spine. It could be anyone; it could be Voldemort. 

Her whole life seemed stepped in shadow now. It was consuming her, drowning her in. It would not recede, it would not die out, and it would not go away or be beaten. There was one shaft of light left. The memory of James. 

As she turned to the footstep, almost holding her breath, she thought of her whole life. Every precious memory was brought back to life. They say that your whole life flashes before you when you die, and although Lily didn't know if she was going to die, her blessed hindsight happened now: 

She saw James, the first time she had meet him, on the train to Hogwarts, pulling a prank on Severus Snape with Sirius before First Year. 

She saw James helping her on to her broomstick, teaching her exactly how to maneuver it, in Third Year. 

She saw James carrying her to the Hospital Wing as she had fallen off her broomstick. She must not have paid much attention to James' instructions, being too busy watching the mouth that formed the words and the lighted eyes that had so eagerly talked of his favorite subject. 

She saw him the first time she had blushed under his gaze. He had said that she really was like her namesake, a "Lily". 

She saw Sirius and Remus stick out their tongue claiming "Jamie-boy" was in "loooooove." James's face had turned the color of Peter's Rememberall, almost the color of the Gryffindor Common Room. 

She saw James by the tree on the lake, asking if she would be his girlfriend. 

She saw him the moment when she became conscious that she loved him; on the train home when she had realized she had to spend a whole summer without him. 

She saw the trips to Hogsmeade, the handholding, the kissing, the subtle flirting, everything that had made their relationship so great. 

She saw him "kissing" Narcissa White. 

She saw James' confused face as she slapped him for "cheating on her". 

She saw the insanely lighted look in Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape's eyes and their twinkling smiles as she had ran tear blinded out of the Great Hall. 

She saw Sirius's hurt face as she walked past him and James with stiff pride. She hadn't even dared to look at James for fear she would melt. 

She saw Sirius telling her that she was being a bitch to James, when he had done nothing. She saw the fire in Remus's tired gray eyes as he told her it had been a farce, that James had been set up. 

She saw James stammering tell her that he hadn't kissed Narcissa and he had no idea what she had been talking about. 

She saw her own yelling, disbelief, and stubbornness to not believe him. Something along the lines of "Shut it Potter, I know what I saw. Now if you would kindly get out of my way and my face." James's chocolate eyes were on fire, almost literally, with anger. 

She seemed at the Platform waving goodbye to him, with a smile on her face and tears in her heart, seemingly so long ago, though in reality only several hours. 

Yes, James was her whole life it seemed. If she would have anything in her life worthwhile to flash before her eyes it would be him. 

Now to face her fate. 

Why didn't Voldemort just say the curse with her back turned and get it over with? Lily turned around bravely, her eyes burning up with rage. If she was to die by his hands she would do it with her head held high! He wouldn't see her be frightened of him. 

"Lily?" a voice said sheepishly as she turned. A voice she knew so well. Immediately her anger and resolve drained away, like a knot in her chest suddenly dissolving.

_"James!" _

And there was no more need for stupid words; she just stayed in his arms, telling all with telling nothing, the tears running over her insatiable smile mixing in with the rain. 

A/N I don't know where this fic came from. It just did. It's kinda weird. I hope you like it though. Please review!!!!! 

**The Minnesotan in England**

**aka IAMVALANCY**

**aka Les Mis Freak**

**aka Miz Thang**

**aka**

**@@@marzoog@@@**


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